Understanding Cognitive Distortions

We all have thought patterns—habits of mind—that shape how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. Some of those thoughts are helpful, realistic, and adaptive. Others, however, are skewed—distorted in ways that make us feel worse than the facts justify.

These are called cognitive distortions, or dysfunctional thinking patterns, and they play a big role in stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, relationship conflict, and more.

Most of us have an inner dialogue, or self-talk—a constant stream of thoughts running through our minds all day long. Sometimes these thoughts are conscious and helpful: “I need to add eggs to the grocery list.” Other times, they’re more subconscious and self-sabotaging: “I made a mistake—I am an idiot.”

What Are Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions are habitual ways of thinking that twist reality, often in negative or unhelpful ways. They tend to magnify negatives and minimize positives, jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence, apply rigid “all or nothing” or “must/should” statements, and personalize situations unfairly.

They aren’t “wrong” in the sense of being illogical, but they are biased—they tilt our perception in ways that make things seem worse (or different) than they really are. Think of it like seeing the world through a “glass half-empty” lens. Because these patterns often happen automatically, many people don’t notice them until they start to cause problems.

A handout I often share with clients (Click here to access) lays out many of these distortions, along with examples of how they show up in our everyday thinking.

How Cognitive Distortions Wreak Havoc in Your Life

Frequent cognitive distortions can create or worsen mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. They reinforce negative emotions, reduce confidence, and can leave you feeling stuck.

Distorted thinking also affects behavior—contributing to patterns like perfectionism, procrastination, avoidance, or overreaction. Misinterpreting others’ words or actions can lead to misunderstandings and relationship conflict.

Over time, this kind of negative self-talk can even create self-fulfilling prophecies. When your thought patterns make you expect failure or rejection, you might act in ways that bring about those outcomes—or overlook evidence that contradicts them.

How to Work With (and Reduce) Cognitive Distortions

Most of us engage in several of these patterns in different ways. The goal isn’t to eliminate all distorted thoughts—it’s to notice, label, and reframe them when they show up. When you feel a strong emotion, pause and ask yourself, “What’s going on in my thinking right now?” 

Notice and label. Become aware of what’s happening in your mind. When a particular emotion arises, slow down and identify your thought. Write it down if you can. Putting the thought into full sentences can help you to identify cognitive distortions in your thinking. Naming them helps loosen their grip.

Examine the evidence. Ask yourself what concrete facts support this thought, and what facts go against it. Are you confusing what you feel with what you know? If the thought is harsh or self-critical, ask whether it’s something you would say to a friend.

Reframe. Replace distorted thoughts with more balanced ones. For example, instead of “Either I succeed or I’m worthless,” try “I’m doing my best, and mistakes are part of being human.” Writing the reframe out in a thought journal can be especially powerful. They become affirmations. The more you practice catching and reframing distortions, the more you literally rewire your brain to think in new, healthier ways.

If these patterns are so frequent or intense that they interfere with daily life, therapy can help provide structure and support as you work to shift them.

Moving Forward

Cognitive distortions are like subtle lenses that warp how we see reality. They don’t always feel dramatic, but over time, they can make life feel heavier and more complicated than it needs to be. 

The good news is that awareness changes everything. Once you can spot distortions, you can begin to challenge and change them. Using tools like the shared Cognitive Distortions PDF, thought journaling, reframing, and self-compassion can help you think more flexibly and feel more grounded.

If you’d like to dive deeper into the concept of self-talk and learn practical ways to reframe your thinking, check out my workshop, Shifting Self-Talk here.