📚 Nuggets from Raising a Kid Who Can
I recently got invited to join a neighborhood book club. I was honest - I’d love to connect with friends and have a monthly excuse to skip out on the monotony of the kids’ bedtime routine, but I was probably never going to read the books.
I already have a long list of work-related, self-help books on my to-read list!
There are so many great self-help and parenting books out there, but I know how hard it is for moms to carve out time to read them.
I also have personal experience with increased anxiety from TOO MUCH info…the kind that is too rigid and prescriptive, making you feel like how you are doing things is all wrong.
Let’s be real - there’s no one right way to parent or to care for yourself and your family…
And it’s hard to know which resources are going to be the most useful.
I love reading books on raising kids - It’s dual purpose, giving me info I can utilize as a mom myself, while also arming me with tons of strategies to help support the clients I work with.
I’m hopeful I can share some nuggets of what I find valuable in my blog/emails, so you can decide what resonates with you and determine what resources are worth checking out further.
I recently read Raising a Kid Who Can: Simple Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Adaptability and Emotional Strength, written by three local colleagues. What I liked most about this book is it talks about the need to consider neurobiology - a topic I love discussing, but one that’s often complex - when parenting. Each chapter includes a list of other books that might be useful. (Hence why my reading list keeps growing!)
Here are some nuggets from the book I think all moms should know:
- Fact: “Emotions are chemical experiences in our bodies” (That’s why we need somatic therapies, like EMDR, to process trauma.)
- Great Tip: “See difficult feelings like the weather - we don’t get to control it, all we can do is prepare for it, enjoy it when it’s good, and tolerate when it’s not.” (So true.)
- Parenting Hack: “Whisper and whine are incompatible.” (When your child is driving you crazy with incessant whining, ask them to speak in a whisper.)
- So good to keep in mind: “The roots of good mental health are rest, recreation, and routine…If your kid hits a rough patch, it’s likely that at least one of these elements is out of whack.” (True for adults, too!)
- Neuroscience Truth: “The human brain hasn't changed much in the past 30,000 years. This means that the brain helping your kid survive a busy twenty-first-century day is unfortunately hardwired to survive a different kind of day from our prehistoric hunter-gatherer ancestors. The brain is ready to help your kids stay alert and on the move. In the face of stress, the brain is wired to be fearful, reactive, and anxious–useful emotions when you’re trying to avoid a tiger attack, but less useful when you’re trying to prepare for a chemistry test. …the overwhelming speed and complexity of modern life is outpacing our psychological adaptability. Society is changing fast, and our ancient survival-based wiring is not equipped to handle our psychological needs when managing our modern world. In what scientists call an “evolutionary mismatch” our brains were wired for specific settings and stressors, but our current environment no longer matches these conditions. Our prehistoric brains, wired for survival, are in constant fight or flight mode, understandably overstressed and overflowing with adrenaline, all of which builds our anxiety levels to an all-time high.” (This is part of why I think so many kids today - and adults - are what we call neurodivergent…Or diagnosed with things like ADHD…Our brains just aren't evolving at the same pace as society, technology, etc. - - This is why we NEED things like mindfulness tools - We need to find ways to slow down and give the brain a break in order to mitigate stress.)
If you want to continue hearing more of my favorite take-aways from the books I’m reading, join my maillist here.