A Shift in Perspective: Finding Comfort and Achievement

I was recently in a yoga class where the instructor remarked that comfort is said to be the enemy of achievement. I found that quote interesting, considering most of us strive for both comfort and achievement. How can these two concepts be in conflict? Does achievement entail surrendering to agony and pain? Or does being comfortable require remaining stagnant or conceding to staying stuck? If comfort is the enemy of achievement, yet something we all value, how can we ever make progress?

As the class was paused for a good period of time in a deep squat pose, the instructor went on to tell the fable about a farmer and his donkey:

The story details the fate of a farmer’s donkey that falls into an old well. Unable to find a solution to save the donkey, the farmer decided the animal was old and the well was dried-up anyway, so he invited the townspeople to help him fill up the well.  As they began shoveling dirt into the hole, the donkey cried out in fear.  He soon, however, grew quiet.  As the people looked down the well, they were amazed to find what the donkey was doing.  With each shovel of dirt, the donkey shook his back and took a step up, continuing to do so until he reached the top of the well and happily trotted off.  

As the story demonstrates, life is going to shovel dirt on us, yet every struggle can be turned into a stepping-stone. Sometimes a shift in perspective, rather than the search for comfort, is what we really need in order to advance and achieve.  

Many people come to therapy seeking comfort or relief from the struggles they face. Hopefully, they find some of this through the compassion and validation of a caring therapist. But truly valuable therapy that moves us forward toward positive growth and change also involves more on the part of the individual. It requires a shift in perspective, an openness to finding the silver lining, and the ability to ask the question, “What has this struggle or challenging experience taught me?”

When we are willing to look at our struggles from a different perspective we open up the doors to finding meaning. We may not get the relief or outcomes we were looking for, but instead, we may be able to give purpose to our hardships. This ability to find meaning and purpose ultimately brings about a level of acceptance, and I’ve found that acceptance does provide a sense of comfort.

When you find yourself struggling, stop and ask yourself the questions, “What might the purpose of this experience be? What is the world trying to teach me? What strengths and qualities have I demonstrated (or do I want to demonstrate) amid this ordeal?” 

As you seek answers to these questions, you challenge yourself to explore and find more than simply comfort. You dare yourself to go beyond a comfort zone to ultimately discover a wealth of strength, endurance, and determination. Rather than resist the struggle, you lean into the possibility that that struggle is ultimately nudging you toward achievement. The triumph and end result may look very different than what you anticipated achievement to be. Yet the lessons and growth you take from any given experience may contribute to your greatest successes in life. 

So comfort may be the enemy of achievement, but the ability to shift perspectives, acknowledge a purpose, and celebrate your growth may be the catalysts to ending the war. 

Originally published on GoodTherapy.org on November 15, 2016. Republished here with permission.