Seasons of Motherhood: It’s Okay Not to Love Them All

Yesterday, I dragged my kids off their iPads and out of the house for a nice Mother’s Day brunch. When we returned, I found myself fielding the same question over and over: “Can we play iPads now?” I finally walked out of the house, tired of the noise, the questions, and the piles of dirty clothes no one seemed to notice.

I ran errands—alone—and enjoyed the quiet. No one needed anything from me. No one was asking for snacks or tattling on a sibling. It was exactly what I needed.

Later, I stopped by my sister’s house to get handprints from her young kids to finish a Mother’s Day gift for our mom. I sat outside with her little ones, watching them splash at the water table, laughing and copying each other. Their squeals of delight filled the air—and my heart. I realized just how much I miss that stage of parenting.

It wasn’t necessarily easier back then. But somehow… motherhood felt lighter.

My kids are now in elementary school, and here’s my honest confession: I’m not loving this phase. There’s so much whining. Homework battles after a long day of work. Sibling fights, constant negotiations about screen time and requests for iPhones. It’s relentless.

I once worked with a mom who was confused by how sad she felt as her daughter’s first birthday approached. While she planned the party, she was overwhelmed by grief—and then guilt. “I should be happy,” she told me. “She’s growing, thriving, hitting all her milestones.”

I looked at her and said gently, “It sounds like you’re grieving. She’s not your tiny newborn anymore.”

Her eyes lit up. “YES! This feels just like grief.”

And I told her: “It’s okay to celebrate while also holding grief.”

That’s exactly what I felt this Mother’s Day. A kind of quiet grief. That my babies aren’t babies anymore.

I adored the newborn days. I would pay good money for one more day of chasing chubby toddlers around the house. I miss the snuggles, the sweetness, the way they looked at me like I was their entire world. Yes, I was exhausted—but I cherished it.

Of course, not every mom feels this way. And that’s okay, too.

I work with plenty of moms who loathe the early days. The sleepless nights. The constant feedings. The isolation and overwhelm. They count down the days until their kids are a bit more independent—until they can put on their own shoes or sleep through the night. That’s valid, too.

We’re all wired differently. We each have different strengths, struggles, and seasons that suit us best. Some moms thrive in the baby stage. Others come alive cheering at t-ball games. Some feel most connected when having deep, meaningful talks with their teens.

There’s no “right” stage to enjoy. There’s no wrong way to feel about the one you’re in.

If you’re in a season you don’t love, hang in there. It’s just that—a season. It won’t last forever. And someday, you might even find yourself missing the very parts that frustrate you now.

When I feel overwhelmed, I sometimes think of the lyrics from country singer Trace Adkins’ song:

You’re gonna miss this.
You’re gonna want this back.
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.
These are some good times, so take a good look around.
You may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this.

It doesn’t mean we have to enjoy every moment. Let’s be honest—some moments are just plain hard. But when we can acknowledge that the tough seasons will pass, we can sometimes find a little more space to breathe, to notice, to stay present.

So give yourself some grace. It’s okay to not love every stage of motherhood. Just keep going. You’re doing great—even if your kids don’t put down their devices and worship you on Mother’s Day.